Where will this country go in 50 years? I look at what flashes across the TV and listen to what pours out over the radio waves and I wonder where its going. Every major point in human history had a beginning and an end. For anyone to think this wont all end is a self deception. I realize that this type of thinking will get me nowhere but I will entertain it for a while longer. Perhaps we better start from the beginning. I have been searching for truth since I was old enough not to like incomplete answers. I learned this all around the age of about six when I noticed that all I had to do to sound smart was play the game of telephone. I would hear adults talk about what for a six year old was a very complex subject and then I would talk to another adult and just repeat the very conversation back to them. They all dubbed me an intelligent child. All I ever was, was a kid with a good memory for conversation and a large vocabulary. As I have gotten older I found that repeating the same things over and over can lead to something very scary. I started to believe what I was telling others when I never actually learned the truth. I started living on hearsay and rumors rather then truth. The beginning for my search for truth was a search for self. I joined the Navy and thought that I would go there a confused boy and leave a hardened experienced man. When my tours of four years was over I found my self but I was far from a hardened man of experience. I was more a confused 23 year old who was broken from a fast paced life of drugs and alcohol then I was a man. I spent three weeks on the beaches of Virginia soaking up the sun and wondering why I did not feel any different then I did before I left on my grand journey of self searching. I realized in those three weeks that who I am and who I strive to be are defined by me as taught by my surroundings and my major influences. I always knew who I was I was just not ready to be that person. I went through what I consider four years of hell and paradise just to learn that I had all the power to be who ever I wanted all along. From that point until now I scoured every source I could to find out how I may affect change in my world and find the truth of my existence.