Where is the love?

I am laughing right now because I have not Posted here in some time. I had an interlude of pain and I wanted to make sure that I enjoyed every moment of it. Yes I know that is a little bit screwy but its the only thing that I know ensures I am alive. As much as in the moment of my pain I dont want to be there I love the aftermath. Like a typhoon of clensing emotion the pain is somthing that always leaves nothing behind but the landscape of my heart. When I build my poor structures on the sand that was my way of loving that typhoon was Gods way of cleaning the scene. Yeah I know to say that God would do somthing to me that at the moment feels like someone poured boiling battery acid in my veins is a bit sadistic but its my comparison not yours. Its a very head clearing thing that I cannot hate and I think if it happens again I am going to make it my new addiction. I wonder if I am stable yet? I will more then likly cry my self to sleep tonight cause I think I am out of the woods. We will see.