Another one bites the dust...

This weekend was not too bad but it was not what I hoped for. They never are anymore. My weekends now amount to the about the same thing as and orgasm for a 90 year old man. Just not how you remember it. Oh don't get me wrong I could make them great but my own morality holds me from doing that. Most of you are saying in your head that I should be able to have a great weekend without getting out of hand. That is not possible for me. I have tasted the fruits of an out of control weekend and I have also enjoyed the months that were the same and once you have had it all else just does not add up. The right group of people and you could turn confession into something worth sending out invitations too. Its all about the people. I no longer hang around a group of people that I can trust and a really shitty situation. All I have is me, my brother, and my best friend. Does anyone know how much shit you can get into when you go out to have the kind of good time I am looking for with only two people? Lets just say that its not worth the dental work in the long run. Memorable but not worth the recovery time. Now if you go out with six or maybe seven people then things can look pretty good and be long worth the trouble. Not two. Never. Two people and one being married is just a combination for trouble.


I keep having this dream that I am in a house where everything around me is shaking like an earthquake. When I first had the dream things were not shaking at all but now every time I have this dream things are shaking worse and worse. When I wake up from it I am nauseated to the point I want to be sick. Just weird. Ever felt like you mind is living in another place when you go to sleep and when you wake up its gibbering on trying to tell you all that it did while you were resting? Yeah I think that anyone who reads this should do me a favor and get me some help. I think I am losing my fucking mind. I want to seek help for my delusions and my fears but I don't think there is help out there for me.